I am a Bully

 I can get along with pretty much everyone.

I am, after all, an adult.


There are a couple of people in this world who just make my skin crawl.

They get to me, like no one else.

I simply can’t stand being around them because they just put me in a terrible mood and turn me into “Negative Nelly.”

Neither of these people have ever done anything major to me, to make me dislike them so much. They just have the idea that the world revolves around them and everyone should go out of their way to make life easier for them.

Thankfully, I rarely have to deal with one of these people. She was a mom at my kids’ school last year and thankfully I only run into her occasionally.

(Not seeing her is one of the unforeseen perks of homeschooling.)

The other person has recently taken a more permanent position in my life. Unfortunately, he will presumably be around for a while.

When I am around either of these people, I tend to just ignore them, pretending they don’t exist. When I do acknowledge them, they just make me see red, so I guess maybe that’s why I choose to pretend they are nonexistent. I’m not really sure.

I just know that when I have to deal with them, they make me crazy and any positive thoughts go right out the window and are replaced with a negative, hateful mindset.

So, I just pretend they aren’t there.

That sounds simple enough, right?
Um, no.

My kids know exactly how I feel about these people and they see how I treat them.

In a nutshell, my kids see me being a bully.

I may not be calling them names, teasing them or beating them up, but I am, in my own way, bullying them.

I am teaching my kids that it is okay to make people feel “non-existent.”

Obviously this is not what I want my kids to learn.

So, I sat down with my kids and explained that I am not perfect and I sometimes let my inner-bully shine. I told them that adults can sometimes be just as mean as kids, and just because I am not being blatantly mean to these people doesn’t mean that I am not a bully.

By making them feel like anything less than what God has intended them to feel, I am being a bully

Annoying and self-centered as they are, I am going to attempt to be nicer to these people. I will try my hardest to not let them get “under my skin” and  maybe eventually I’ll be more understanding of why they are the way they are.

And hopefully my kids will see that and learn how to deal with those people in their life, who they just can’t stand.



2 thoughts on “I am a Bully

  1. I totally get this post! I remember when my fourth child was tiny, and I would pack all three littles along for my oldest girl’s basketball practices. There was this parent/coach of another team who always watched us wrangling in and out with diaper bag, books, and anything to keep the tiny people occupied for that one hour. I can still see his smug smile in my direction as he brought his perfect only child in and out of the gym without incident. I silently thanked God that he was never my daughter’s coach!

    Since that time, there have been several similar moments in my life, and the people closest to us are the ones who can hurt the most! My prayer every time the inner bully shows up is:
    “Lord, help me to see this person the way you see them. Help me to love them the way you do.” I’ve heard many wise women say, “We can’t be angry with someone we’re praying for.” That advice is great at age 5 or 55!!


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